• 9.2 10
  • 2017
  • 29min
  • Kazakh
  • English

Yulia is a young mother of three girls, yet she always dreamed about a son. After her son’s death in childbirth, Yulia seems to be frozen. She can’t wake up. This is a story of overcoming a loss and of inexhaustible faith in life.

OFFICIAL SELECTION: Docudays on Human Rights Film Festival/ Flahertiana International Documentary Film festival/ Moscow International Documentary Film Festival 

Intro, a letter from a mother with love 

Julia Mochalova, the mother of three little girls, goes to an office to withdraw the death certificate of the son she lost at childbirth. A year has passed since that day and the wounds are still open. The paper seems to be a way to demand a right to an honorable dismissal, the beginning of the way to overcome guilt. A sincere testimony in a self-help group reveals a family trauma that sheds light on the causes of the painful loss.

The ghost of the male figure in her family is still gravitating in Julia´s life. Perhaps a letter written by her can be sent to the soul of her son through the flames of a homemade bonfire. A letter written in the light of a candle, a dead butterfly in an intimate ceremony of cremation and a pregnancy test that reveals a positive result are some postcards of this documentary made by Julia Panasenko. The film reminds us of the impossibility of avoiding the problems of our lives.

Production Companies

Julia Panasenko